Your tits are I can't wait for
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
