I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize