How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
