You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
