I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
