i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.