So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
