my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
