i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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