Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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