3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
