Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
