She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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