What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
