the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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