i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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