on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
