I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
