I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
