Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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