I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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