no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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