Umm I'm too high to move.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
