She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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