for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
