I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
is it fun? or sober?
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