We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
