And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
