if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will be naked everywhere
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
