they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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