I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
