I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize