If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
