he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
