in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
