Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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