Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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