dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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