He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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