Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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