I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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