i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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