I cannot find my penis.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize