Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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