I skipped work to stalk him.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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