I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
