just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize