I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
