my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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