My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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