i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
