How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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