I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
