I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
