We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
