STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
