Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
