Nicole vs. Life
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
