The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
