We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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